Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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