Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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