A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
