At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize