How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
