TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So vagazzling was a success
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
