Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
