if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
