Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
sarcasm needs its own font
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
