he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
