Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
