Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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