I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
