genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
3pm strippers are depressing
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
dude. I can hear the air.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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