Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
