My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
