I hope mine doesn't look like that
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Randomize
