I'm going to jail i love you
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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