I swear she didn't look like that last week.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
