Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
