Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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