ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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