I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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