Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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