I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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