I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
