you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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