Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
