I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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