Who wears a wallet chain?!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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