belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
