Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
