OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
