Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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