Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
