somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Its about making memories worth repressing
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
