Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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