I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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