What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
