Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
