Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
