I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dicks are not precious.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
