I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
