ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Randomize
