I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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