is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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