I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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