i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We have so much sex to catch up on
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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