I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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