new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
