did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
