We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
