i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
