It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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