My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
