So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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