So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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