I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
