Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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