My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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