How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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