Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
