i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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