i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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