she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
