Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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