shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
