I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
