Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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