I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
