I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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